Holiday Visits
How to look for signs that your aging parent or grandparent is safe at home without making the holidays feel like a social services visit.
Before visiting your loved one, remember that you want to prioritize visiting, not questioning. It is the holidays after all! That said, while you have an opportunity to observe your loved one’s living space, there are certain signs to look for to help you gauge if they’re still safely living at home.
Living Space
Do you notice a change in how your loved one moves through their home (e.g. going up and down stairs)? Are they forgetting where items in the house are? Does their routine seem off — like taking a nap in a new spot (this could indicate trouble getting to their favorite couch or to bed)? Check the fridge. Is there a bunch of expired food?
Physical and Financial Health
Asking about your loved one’s doctor (‘hey, how’s doctor so-and-so doing’) could start a conversation about appointment frequency and overall health. Understanding who gets access to health and financial information is important — you don’t need to insert yourself to be helpful here. Just knowing who to contact is a start. Is there a large number of bills piling up on the counter or desk?
Driving
Offering to run an errand together (try to be the passenger) is a great way to see how your loved one’s driving is going. Claim your back is sore or you're tired from your own trip, whatever it takes to ride shotgun! How does your loved one’s vehicle look compared to their reputation? If your dad is known for taking exceptional care of his truck and it’s looking unusually dinged or miskept, it might be time to have a conversation about driving safety.
Communicating with your family members ahead of time will help set your visit up for success. To reduce the pressure, team up with family members or use multiple visits to make the first visit less overwhelming. Above all — be patient and enjoy this time together. Happy holidays!